Normality

I want to leave it all, and go back to normality; yes that is the better option. The problem is I don’t know where to find it.

Was it lost because of “broken ness” and “hopeless ness” or will I find it by “blessed ness” and “joyful ness?”

Was it the world at home in Northern California as we packed to leave on a world cruise? A wonderful suite and new friends that were supposed to be our normality until June 4th. Food, drinks, entertainment and laundry taken care of as we circumnavigated the globe. A retirement dream we have planned for for 2 1/2 years!

Perhaps it was stolen when Covid-19 was named and made American Somoa decide to not allow our ship to dock? The devastating news and a hint of an overwhelming feeling of the sadness to come to us and our shipmates. We kept a stiff upper lip hoping that the new normality at that time would take us around the world on a different track than we had planned!

Would I find normality when Regents told us that Singapore was a no go so we had to sail around Australia along the Southern Ocean and the southern coast? Or did it dissolve as soon as the news broke on the Diamond Princess being docked in quarantine in Japan?

Did it disappear when some of our cruise mates headed home when we weren’t heading to Singapore? There was a sense of fear and dread as we tried to keep a positive outlook. We were excited to see new ports with our new friends.

Maybe Covid-19 took it when it was simply spread around the world via ship, planes, public transportation, and celebration of lives and in houses of worship? I didn’t want to admit it was affecting all of us the world over? Did everyone else feel the way I did?

Was normality eliminated by borders closing within Shires in Western Australia as well as Aussie state borders? Was it when all international and national flights were banned? Was it lost when sport’s shuttered stadiums and a sea full of empty seats saw the last few footy games? As the tv stations played old footy games for the locals to enjoy, I learned to love Australian Football (Footy). I had no skin in the game and no knowledge of even who would win the game on the tv in front of me. But that was not my normality from the past.

Where did I truly lose my normality?

Would I find normality with my family while we Shelter in Place in Margaret River since we decided it just might be a safer and healthier bet to stay in Australia? Covid-19 took safety with it but it left our Margaret River with no virus, of course with which we are thankful.

I searched for it everywhere; in the food, in the wine, in the Aussie evening news, in my suitcases, in the books I’ve found to read that have delighted me, to watching NCIS reruns as a family every night here in Margs – which was close to our normality at home. Maybe when I fall asleep one night, I will find it.

Then after a feeling of lucidity following a restful nights sleep, I saw it close by, just there with me, clinging to my skin. Normality wasn’t in the days I’d left behind; it was in whatever fortune placed in my path each and every day.

Whether at home in California or on a cruise ship or in our Margaret River, wherever our family chooses to direct our course, that will be my new normality. For now, it is amid the beach, the crashing waves, the forests, the geology and the sunsets that smell of seaweed, to my new Aussie friends and their use of words which make me smile every day! (Don’t forget to wash your smalls!)

Normality is simply whatever I will, our commitment as a family which is why it will always be with me. For me to look for it somewhere else or try to retrieve it from yesterday makes no sense at all!